


Devil in Disguise

by MissWar



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bad History, College, Multi, POV Multiple, devil in disguise, free fallin, i use allot of song refrences, jean is pretty innocent, jean really likes elvis, marco is an ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-16 07:57:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2261919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissWar/pseuds/MissWar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"you look like an angel, Walk like an angel, Talk like an angel, But I got wise. You're the devil in disguise, Oh yes you are, The devil in disguise."<br/>In which Marco tries to make right for the wrongs he did in the past..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

    “Yo! Marco!” I glance up from my literature homework just in time to watch ymir flop her butt onto my bed. “Whats up?” I ask her, setting my book and pen down on my desk, and spinning fully in my desk chair so that i can face her. Ymir hardly ever busts into my room like this, that means she’s got some kinda news for me.

    Trailing in a couple seconds after my cousin is her girlfriend Krista. Kirsta is absolutely adorable, she’s four foot twelve, with short blonde hair and large blue eyes and pale skin. While Ymir is five foot nine, dark brown hair that is a bit past shoulder length, brown eyes, tan skin and plenty of freckles, basically a female version of me.

    “Remember that Hottie you dated back in Senior year of high school?” I chuckle a bit and shrug my shoulders. “Which one?” Ymir scoffs at my cocky attitude, she knows i am playing though, but i really dont know which guy she’s talking about. “Jean Kirstein. The innocent boy you broke?” I let a grin pull up onto my lips. That guy i remember. I didnt get to brake him as much as i planned, but boy did i have fun. He was definitely unique, and pretty interesting, not to mention hot as hell with a great mouth.

    “By that grin, im guessing you remember?” I nod my head, agreeing to Ymir. Krista sighs, trying not to be part of the conversation. “Well, Yeager boy has been in an extra flirty mood with him, And he went out on a date with Mikasa last week. According to Armin the date went really well, but both decided friends was their better option.” I snort and shake my head. That is such bullshit. “Eren and Jean hated the hell out of each other in high school and Mikasa has never looked in Jeans general direction.” Ymir shakes her head back at me, disagreeing.

    “That was in high school. Two years ago. Both Eren and Jean are studying Medicine so they are together all the time now. Eren likes to get flirty with Jean, and Jean occasionally flirts back. Because of being around Eren so much, Mikasa grew to be decent friends with him to, thus the date happened. Shit happens in two years, Marco.” I let out a huff and bit my lip. Jean hates flirting, he ignored me when i flirted with him back in high school, not to mention back then Jean and Eren practically tried to tare each others throats out.

    “Well thats.. Something to be taken into consideration..” I grumble out, and now krista finally takes her stand. “Marco, i think you should leave him alone. Jean looks happy for the first time in a very long time... I think it would be best if you leave him alone.” Krista pleads to me. Unlike Ymir and I, Krista is a good, and innocent person.

   “To late, Krista. I think its time i reclaim my territory..”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     “Fuck off.” I sneer harshly. I dont even let Marco Bodt get a word out, just him being near me is enough to set me off. I dont ever want to see this asshole again in my life. Back in high school, I had the hugest fucking crush on him for two damn years.

   Senior year of high school, he decided it would be fun to play with me. He used me for the entire first three and a half months of senior year. Three and a half fucking months to make me fall in love with him. Fucking asshole, on thanks giving day, i discovered fucking everything. Not only had he fucked several other guys during the months we dated, but he apparently was just in it to take my virginity and run for it. The guy was fucking using me, he literally wanting nothing more then to destroy me. He told everyone i knew all about the things we had down, which thankfully never went any farther then Oral. He also sent out Nude photos of me to not only every student possible, but he sent them out to some of the staff members. He told everyone about my adoptive fathers, as in, the two of them. I had to be fucking home schooled after that. I spent my Senior Year, at home. He ruined my fucking life. It took two years to get completely fucking over him. I am in college now, and here he comes, sauntering up like some kind of Knight in shining armor. More like a dick in tin foil.

    “That was mean, Jean.” He whines and i growl a bit. “I never said i was nice, now did i?” I hiss out, I see him wince a bit. Usually i would think, ‘Good. About time he feels bad for what he did’ but i know he doesnt. He doesnt have a heart, or a soul. Marco doesnt seem to feel fucking emotion, he’s just acting. He probably came back because he never finished his mission of getting in my pants. “Ouch.” He pouts and just as he opens his mouth to say something else, someone shouts out behind us.

     “Jean!” Eren rushes up, and jumps onto my back, he likes when i give him piggy back rides, he does this all the time. Out of instinct now, i move my arm backs and around his knees to keep him in place while he holds onto his shoulders. Marco is not pleased by this. Like i give a shit though. He doesnt have a right to look at me with shame like he is right now.

    “Dammit Yeager. Fuckn warn me before you brake my back, Asshole.” I groan. I may used to this, but that doesnt make Eren any less heavy. “Shut up, Horse face, We got us a seminar to go to, so get moving.” He gently kicks my hips, where his feet dangle, to imitate kicking a horse into action. I fuckn hate you sometimes, Eren. Are hatred hasnt changed much for each other since high school, we still bicker and what not, a bit of hate is still there but we get along allot better now. The hate thing is more playful now, if anything.

    “Im done here anyway, Lets go.” I look over at my shoulder to glance at Eren to my best ability, Completely ignoring Marco. I turn on my heel and start heading in the very opposite direction with Eren still on my back.

    “Thanks..” I mutter quietly once we are out of hearing length from my EX. We dont have a seminar to go to right now, its the end of the day, were actually done with our classes for the day, he ran up and said that because he saw Marco with me. He knows about that, everyone who went to that high school knows about it. Its only my friends and family that know the full, truthful story though. “Damn fuckn right your thankful. Now you owe me a coffee in the morning.” I let out a quite sigh, but nod my head, and continue the direction towards are dorm building.

    I really am thankful that Eren showed up as soon as he did, if that means i have to wake up at six in the morning the next day just to get Eren a large Marshmallow frap in the morning, then so be it.

 

 

       “Jean.. Can i talk to you?” Krista steps up to us as we all sit in the lobby of the male dorm building, having decided we would get pizza and eat together tonight.

   How Krista knew we were here, i dont know. Reiner instantly is on his feet, in defensive stance next to me. “No. Say it in front of all of us.” Krista, though she is very sweet, and we all love her, she isnt exactly welcomed with us anymore. Considering her girlfriend is Marcos cousin, anything that happens with us that krista knows about, gets to Ymir even if Krista doesnt mean for it to, and from Ymir it gets to Marco, which is exactly what we dont want. Reiner loves the heck out of Krista, they have been good friends for years, but he has known me longer, and the side Krista has no choice but to be on, is the wrong one in Reiners mind, so he’s defending me right now, even if it means going against Krista.

    Sometimes, i just cant believe how much these guys love me and are willing to protect me.

    “Fine.. Jean, I know Marco approached you today.. I know why, so i thought i should tell you.. well.. more of i thought i should warn you.” I smile softly at Krista, trying to let her know its okay. I love Krista to alright. No one could hate her, she is so sweet and she never meant for things to leak, they just did. She really does hate the way Marco acts, she’s told me. Krista would be on are side if it wernt for Ymir. I wont hate her for it though, i know how in love they are, i cant hate krista for just sticking with her heart.

    I dont hate Ymir either. Ymir actually has told me to my face that she likes me, she honestly Marco made a huge mistake by doing what he did, and she even tried to talk him out of it. Ymir isnt as bad as she seems. The only one i hate is Marco.

    “Ymir somehow got a hold of some information on you? She told Marco that you went out on a date with mikasa, she did tell the part about you two sticking to friends but he still didnt like it. He didnt get that mad until she told him Eren and you were friends now, very flirty, playful friends. Marco really doenst seem to like you liking someone you used to really hate, and are actually being playfully flirty with him to.. So Marco is pissed about that. He said something along the lines of 'I think its time i reclaim whats mine’ or something like that. Now that it looks like your fully moving on, and new people are jumping at you, he doesnt like it, he wants you back so i would watch out..” I huff and cross my arms.

    Not going to happen. Marco could whine, put and bat all the eyelashes he wants but i wouldnt even stand in the same room with that boy longer then ten minutes even if the devil himself rose out of the ground and told me to do it. I dont know what on earth makes him think he even has a chance at getting me back.

   “Fucking Ymir..” Eren mutters quietly, not happy that Ymir is the cause of this. Eren has a tight scowl on his face, eyebrow furrowed and eyes narrowed. Actually.. Looking around.. everyone has a similar expression.. Connie and Sasha.. Reiner.. Bertholt.. Armin.. even straight faced mikasa shows a good amount of displeasure.

   “Ymir is actually the reason i am here. She’s the one who tolled me to warn Jean...” I raise an eyebrow. Why the hell would Ymir set this up and then warn me? I mean, i know Ymir thinks goodly of me and all, but still. Whats the fucking point of getting Marco purposely all fired up, and then come warn me. It makes no sense.

   “I dont get it either.. but still.. just careful Jean.. Okay? Once Marco sets something up in his mind, he wont back down from it easily, and he is really going for you this time..” I nod my head and she gives a slight wave, and just like that, shes gone.

   Thanks for the Warning Krista.. I’ll definitely keep this in mind, and use it to my advantage...

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

   “He's a good boy, loves his mama Loves Jesus and America, too He's a good boy, crazy 'bout Elvis Loves horses and his boyfriend, too It's a long day living in hell There's a freeway runnin' through the yard I'm a bad boy 'cause I don't even miss him I'm a bad boy for breaking his heart And I'm free, free fallin', fallin' And I'm free, free fallin', fallin'” I sing along, but with my own version, to the song ‘Free Fallin’, Tom Petty’s cover. I used to call this Jeans song way back when in high school, because its perfect for him. He is a good kid, he’s a mamas boy, His favorite singer really is elvis, he does love horses, he did grow up as a very religious Christian child and the loving America part was just irony mostly since he moved her from France a month after he turned ten and he hated it but now he loves it. Also, i really dont feel back because i dont even miss him and i did brake his heart.

      “Again with the song, Marco? This is like the seventh time i have caught you singing it today. Are you sure your intentions here are sex?” Ymir mocks me, striding into my room and sitting down on my bed. Weird, Krista isnt with her.. “What else would they be? I am singing because i am trying to formulate a plan. Get in the boys pants a few good times and bail. The usual.” I shrug, stopping my chair mid spin so that i can face her. She sighs, and closes her eyes quickly, before looking at me seriously.

   “Marco.. You know, it wouldnt be to bad of an idea if you considered Jean more seriously.. Right now your acting like a little kid whose favorite toy was taken from him.” I chuckle a bit, choosing to ignore the first place. “Thats because my favorite toy has been taken away from me, and i want it back.” Ymir sighs, and shakes her head a bit. She knows me well enough to know when i am purposely avoiding something.

   “I am just saying.. Out of all the people you have ever dated.. Jean is obviously special to you.. You never gave to fucks before if someone you had a fling with got over you. There have been cases, just like Jean, and you never cared when you moved on. You said it yourself, Jeans your favorite right? He’s your favorite even though you never got farther with him then giving head? Thats pretty unlike you.” I groan. I know where she’s going with this, and i dont like it. but once ymir gets going, she wont stop until she feels like it.

   “So what. I sensed potential in him that i never got to discover. thats all.” Ymir glares at me. Shes calling bullshit on me in her head, i can tell. She reads me just as well as i read her.

   “Marco. Your twenty three. At some point in time, your going to seriously need to consider your life. Look me in the eye and tell me that in five years from now, when Jean gets married to someone he loves and living a happy successful life while your living in my house with a great education that you dont use, and playing with the hearts of the innocent, that you are going to be in pain, and jelously, but not of Jean, but those around him?” I bit down on the inside of my lip, and look anywhere but at here, because she’s right. The image of Jean getting married flashes threw my mind and my heart clenches.

   “Jean is probably the best person you have ever dated. He can cook like a god, he is extremely smart, and pretty nice,funny and sarcastic, you love sarcasm. He is good looking, innocent. His future is bright and he’s hardworking. His tastes in music and shows, cars and books are all excellent. He’s sporty, natural and fun. Jean was and still is everything you love in a partner and more, not to mention he loved you. Yet you decided to ruin his life and brake his heart? Marco. Just.. All im saying is you really should rethink what you actually want from Jean Kirstein..”


	2. Love doesnt go away, it only hides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean seeks advice from his parents about his feelings.

**1 New Message: From : Yeager: Sorry dude, i gotta bail. See yah tmrw tho?**

**To : Yeager : Damit Eren. Gues im getin drunk al on my own.**

   God dammit. I groan, sliding my phone away, and signal for the bartender for another drink. Eren, Armin, Mikasa and I were all suppose to go out for drinks tonight, and now Mikasa has the flew and Armin and Eren are staying in order to take care of her, and theyre just not telling me this after i have been here for an hour and a half, and have taken six shots and have had ten beers. Me drunk and alone is a horrible idea because its either going to result in me fighting, or fucking, and im really not in the mood for either of those.

    “Jean?” A familiar voice rings next to me. Yah see? its set in stone, Fucking or fighting, or in this case, maybe both.

 

 

        I groan quietly, slowly waking up, my head pounding in pain. Im really comfortable though, and i can feel allot of warmth.. Im cuddling someone? More specifically, i am wrapped around someone, and my head is on their chest. Its probably Eren who came to get my drunk ass, or maybe Armin, since he is my dorm mate. Thinking this, i just relax against the body, nuzzling my head against their chest. In reaction, the person giggles.

  Its a very quite, short giggle but i recognize it instantly. Eren doesnt giggle, and Armins giggle is sort of girlish, and very long. There is only one person i have ever heard giggle like this, and that makes me shoot up instantly. I was right, Its Marco. I glance around quickly in fear, my shirt and pants are across the room, laying on the floor, and his are next to the bed, we are both in nothing but boxers and socks. Not a good thing.

     “Holy crap. No, Jean. You know me better then that.” He sits up a bit, giving me a look of disappointment when i turn to glare at him. Marco has always been very good at reading me, i dont need to talk for him to understand.

   I relax my glare a bit when i realize he’s right. Marco wasnt even touching me when i was laying on him, his arms and hands didnt touch me, they were laying against the bed. As much of that year that i try to block out, i cant, i am still well aware of it all. I remember very well that Marco is a huge believer in consent.

     He may be some asshole who broke my heart, but never once did he touch me when i didnt want it. He asked before he held my hand, before he hugged me, before he kissed me, or before he pulled me into his lap. He asked before he touched me, no matter what it was. I was the one who told him he didnt have to ask before everything, that asking for one thing, was permission to do another. So if he asked if he could hold me, and i said yes, i told him that was also permission to kiss me. I could be wrong, as people do change over the years, but Marco would never touch anyone in any way they didnt want, especially if they were drunk. Its not possible Marco has put a hand on me.

    “Okay.. Now that you seem calmer.. I swear, i havnt touched you at all. The only time i touched you, was when i helped you walk back here. I ran into you at the bar last night. I sat down with you because you said you were alone. You cussed at me for a bit called me a undred diffrent cuss words i didnt even know existed, and continued to drink. Eventually you got to the point where you could hardly talk, let alone walk. I had no choice but to bring you here, because i dont know where your dorm is, and if i called any of your friends, they would just kick my ass first and ask questions later. I put your arm around my shoulder, and supported you so you could walk because i know you dont like being carried. The second we were in my dorm, you stripped and jumped into the bed. When i got in, you instantly cuddled against me, so i kept my hands at my sides.” I nod my head slowly. Sounds like me. I am a horrible drunk, i really am, thats why i couldnt believe Eren would leave me at the bar alone.

     I stare at him for a few seconds in silence, eyeing him. Why would he take care of my drunk ass? He has no reason for being so nice to me. He said himself, i was a dick to him last night.. If he is really just trying to get into my pants again, then if he got that, if i just gave him what he wanted, would he leave me alone? Its worth a shot..

   I move over, and straddle Marcos waist, grinding my hips against his own and i lean down to connect are lips. Never in my life will admit how good it feels to touch him again.

     Marco leans up, grabbing my face in between his hands, and gently returns my kiss. I hate this, because i am absolutely loving it, and i dont want it to stop. I’ve missed this, the feeling of him against me, i have missed it way more then i will ever understand. Do not mistake this. I am doing this to free myself of the past. I am doing it so i can stop worrying. If i appease him, you know, just give him what he wants, then he’ll leave me alone right. There is no other reason for this then that. I moan quietly as Marco’s hands travel down my sides, until he grips my hips tightly.

   I expected him to push himself up into my hips, are make it a bit rougher, and i was anticipating that i guess, because when he brings my grinding hips to a stop, i feel nothing but slight disappointment.

   “Jean.. No.. I want allot more from you then sex this time.. Stop.” He commands, and a dar blush arises to my cheeks. If he means what i think he means by that, then i am in deep shit, allot of trouble. Because i am not in any form willing to do that.

    “I have a request though.. Could we just.. Cuddle.. i have spent all night wanting so badly to place my arms around you.. Just, five minutes? Please? Then you could leave and we never speak of that action, or this night again. I wont stop pursuing you though. Just, five mi-” Before he can finish off his sentence, i plop down, aligning my body with his, and nuzzling my head into his shoulder.

   He’s stiff at first, this is probably the last reaction he expected from me, but after a few seconds, he lets out a sigh of relief, relaxes, and wraps his arms tightly around me. Dont judge me alright. You dont understand how good i feel when he holds me. I used to feel like it was only us in the world, that nothing could ever go wrong, there were no worries in my mind if i was in Marcos mind.. It still feels like it, but it really shouldnt.

   All that should be in my mind when he is even in the same room as me is hate, or anger, or worry, but its the opposite. Thats really starting to scare me. Its hard to ignore such strong feelings, the need to feel the usual comfort i gain from his embrace is to strong to ignore. Five minutes, that all. Five minutes of cuddling wont hurt..

 

 

     “Jean? What the the heck! Where have you been?!” Armin scolds me when i walk into are dorm. I cuddled with, Then i got up, dressed, and left without a word, just as he had said i could.

     However.. i ended up cuddling with Marco for ten minutes instead of five.. I am sorry, once i was in his arms, i couldnt bare to leave. I was wrong, those five minutes did hurt. I really, really hated leaving his embrace, that is not something you should feel about someone who broke your heart and ruined your life.

    “Chill.. You guys left my drunk ass at the bar, and i got picked up by Marco. I spent the night in his dorm. Nothing happened.” Armin slowly nods his head, a bit of a smile on his face.. Armin is pretty good friends with Marco, even now, so i think it’s safe to tell him, my other friends though.. Well.. they’re a whole different story..

    “Do me a favor Armin.. Tell the others i spent the night at my Dads, wont be a complete lie, cause im going there right now.” I grab my leather jacket of my desk, and toss it on, heading back straight for the door, and leaving before Armin can get any other words in. I go back home whenever i need advice. My parents always have something wise or helpful to say.

    My dad used to say something along the lines of “Love never goes away, it only hides.” He told me something like that once, and right now, i desperately need to know more about that little phrase.

   

 

     “Alright Son. Go ahead and talk now.” My adoptive dad Erwin places a can of mountain dew in my hand, and sits down on the couch next to me, and next to his husband, Levi.

   “Marco Bodt approached me the other day..” I mumble quietly, slowly opening up my soda can. Levi bites down on his lip, holding in a bit of anger, while Erwin nods his head calmly. While Erwin seems to always be calm and levy headed, Levi always seems very.. Up front and protective when it comes to me. Erwin is protective to, its just.. He thinks over it logically first, while his husband just acts first and thinks about it later.

   “He didnt get to say much, Eren popped up nd saved me.. Later that day.. Krista came up and told me that Marco plans to get me back...” Levis fist clenches a bit in anger. My dad has expressed severals times how much he would have loved to punch Marco square in the face back then. Papa (Erwin) Wanted to as well, but he would never actually do it, but Levi would without a doubt. I never liked the idea of them hurting Marco though.. Everyone offered to help me get revenge, but i seemed to be the only one who didnt want it. All i wanted was to be alone, and time to heal my heart. I didnt want to see the guy i loved in any form of pain, even after he screwed me over.

   “Go on..” I nod my head, and pick back up on my little story. I left off right before the part of me being ditched at the bar.

   “Well, last night, i was suppose to meet up with Eren, Armin and Mikasa at 3walls bar? Well Mikasa got sick, so they stayed home to take care of her, and didnt tell me at first. So by the time i was told they wernt coming, i was already pretty wasted. I ran into Marco.. i got so intoxicated, i couldnt get home, so he took me in for the night.. He didnt do anything to me, he didnt touch me.. I tried to initiate sex, thinking thats all he wanted, and if i just gave it to him, i could continue on with life.. He stopped me.. He stopped m and said sex isnt what he wants from me.. After that.. He requested that he hold me for five minutes.. I could resist, but once i was in his arms.. Well, i was there for ten minutes instead of five.. It felt so good.. To be held by him.. It just made me feel so happy, and content.. i didnt want to leave.. and that is so scary.. I just.. i just need your guy’s advice.. Please help me...” Instantly when i start to choke over my words, suddenly feeling very emotional when i realize just how scared i rally am, i am brought into Levis arms, and he holds me tight, my head leaned down, and against his shoulder.

    They may not be my real parents, but i dont care. They are my parents none the less, and i love them like it, and they love me like their son. Thats all that matters... I couldnt possibly ask for better parents, these two are as great as it gets.

   “Its alright Jean.. You can always come talk to us, alright? I want you to know.. What your feeling now.. Well its love.. Real and true love.. When you were a kid, do you remember what i told you? That if love is real, then it will never go away, it only hides. If you truly hold love for someone, then it will always remain in your heart, just waiting to reappear. I know that you dont want to hear it, but if after he has done to you, and how long its been, if you still feel that same love from before.. then you really do love him.. from what you just told us, id say Marco is going after your Heart this time around.. Honestly? In my opinion, i say make him work for it. Make this boy go threw hell before you even let out a single hint that you even sightly like him. He deserves it. I will never forgive him for hurting you, and i doubt you will either, so make him regret it, make him pay for it. Use this to your advantage Jean. Think of it as a test. If a boy is willing to walk threw hell and back for you, then is he worth trusting again? You have the upper hand here.” Erwin places a hand onto my shoulder, as Levi hugs me, I smile a bit at both of them.

    This is a small part of  why i love them.. Instead of telling me to be careful like most parents probably would, theyre telling me to go ahead and make the most of this, they are telling me to go ahead and take my revenge on Jean by making him work hard for my acknowledgment. Its actually not to bad of an idea though, i think i’ll give it a shot..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked this chapter. Dont be afraid to comment, i love comments.


	3. a helpful hand.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco helps Jean with an essay.

**To : Armin: Yo dude, want to hang out tonight?**

**1 New Message: From : Armin : Sorry i cant. Jean just found out he has a major essay do tomorrow and he hasnt even started it. Imma try and help him out, and go get him food here n a couple minutes so he wont starve to death, but hes so focused he wont awnser when i ask what he wants to eat.**

**To : Armin: Sounds like Jean to me.. I know what he likes, how about you stay there until i bring over some food?**

**1 New Message: From : Armin : Are you sure..?**

**To Armin: Positive. Be there in five min.**

    This is a great, and perfect opportunity for me. I spent all night thinking about how i can get Jean back. I know its not gonna be freaking easy. I deserve it though. After what i did to Jean, its reasonable for me to walk on hot coals to get him to simply look at me. Its worth it to. Last night i decided to go with my moms best possible advice, which is that old saying of  “The quickest way to a mans heart is through his stomach.” Here is my chance to do that, i’ll bring some of his favorite foods. I dont have to think, or ask anyone. I remember exactly all of his favorites. When he studies, i remember that he prefers bread, you know, sandwiches, bagels, ect, so thats what i'll get. I grab my wallet, and phone and get on my way...

 

    “Jean? You hungry.. Special delivery...” Jean glances up slightly when i walk in, plastic bag in hand. Instantly, he looks back down, and continues to read the document in his hands, highlighting and marking, writing little comments here and there it seems. He’s really trying hard.. I shouldnt bother him.. I slowly walk over to his bed, and set down the bag.

  “I brought you a toasted bagel with cream cheese, a Dr.Pepper, and some BBQ sunflower seeds.. Good luck with your essay.” He looks up at me quickly, and frowns. I raise an eyebrow slowly, in confusion. Why is he frowning? Does he not like what i brought? Does he not like the fact that after all these years, i still remember is favorite study foods?

   “Can you stay and help me?” He mutters quietly, pen frozen against the page as he stares at me. In the background, i hear Armin scoff. Probably pissed because Jean wouldnt even look at him earlier..

   “Sure..” I slowly sit down next to Jean on his bed, trying to make myself comfortable. I open up the plastic bag of food, taking out the foam container and opening it up. I am doing what i used to do in high school when Jean asked me to help him study. I learned, eventually, that when Jean asks that, he actually means ‘Will you just stay with me and feed me till i am done?’ so of course, i oblige..

 

    “Why the fuck is he here?” Eren mutters in his usual, pissed off tone of voice, as he walks into Armin and Jeans dorm to see me sitting on the bed, feeding Jean pieces of bagel. Jean looks at him, but does not respond, and continues on with writing his essay. He’s doing pretty well on it, He finished organizing and analyzing the documents its based on, and now he’s writing it out in sloppy form. Next he’ll type it out on his computer, and get it printed, that part will only take like fifteen to twenty minutes, considering how fast he can type.

  I dont want to respond to Eren because it is highly likely that whatever i say to him, will make him angry. I dont want to make any one angry at me, especially if they’re close to Jean. Im trying to be good, remember? I just stay silent, holding out pieces of food for Jean to nibble at while he works. Maybe later we could go out for real food? Maybe later, after he’s finished... Thats definitely pushing the envelope here..

   “Yo, horse face? I asked a question? Why the fuck is Marco here, and more importantly, why is he feeding you like a pet. Let me guess? You let him get in your pants?” Eren grunts, sitting down on Arminds bed. Erens as blunt and up front as always.

  Armin just sighs, and shakes his head, While i bite down on my lip. I have a great urge to fight back, but remaining silent works better in my favor..

  “Eren. I am in the middle of an essay. You can complain about your jealousy later.” Jean says seriously, not even looking up as he scribbles down words onto his paper. Eren huffs out, sticking out his chest, and crossing his arms.

  “Been there, done that.” Jean once again, does not look up from his paper as he makes his retort.

"Technically, _i_ did _you_.” My eyes go wide when i realize the current topic. Does that mean Jean fucked Eren? Nope, not okay with that. No. I dont like the idea of anyone touching Jean.. But Eren? Someone Jean hates the living heck out of? It just bothers me, alright? I get jealous easily when it comes to Jean, so i have noticed.

   “Whatever.” Eren has lost the ability to fight back. I bite down on my lip, and hold up another piece of Jean to eat, but instead of going for the bagel, he leans over to whisper in my ear.

  “Dont worry.. I still prefer you over him..” My face heats up a dark red, while he just returns to his work, eating the food from my hand. Jesus Christ Jean. He was always able to say things like that, and dirtier things to without even blinking, me on the other hand gets flustered pretty easily...

 

 

    “Fuck yes! Finally finished!” Jean cheers in victory as the final page of his essay is printed out two and a half hours later. I smile a bit, I am proud of him, thats allot of work he did in such a short time. Now i should leave though. He asked me to stay until he finished, there for, my welcome here is over. I push my self to my feet, give a small wave to show im leaving and start heading for the door.

   “Woah there. Where are you going?” I hear Jean ask, a sort of joking tone to his voice. I turn back around, and see that he followed after me.

   “Back to my dorm?” He laughs a bit at me, and shakes his head.

  “Now it would be pretty rude of me to have you spend three hours feeding me and then kick you out. Stay the night man, i’ll order some pizza for us all.. Besides, your presence really pisses off Eren, and its kind of funny.” My throat suddenly feels dry, and i nod my head a bit, letting Jean lead me back over to the bed as he pulls out his phone, and quickly orders two large pepperoni pizza’s.

  “I am going to take a quick shower. Dont let Eren harass you.” I look up as Jean stands, and heads to the bathroom after he ends his call, and Eren grumbles something angrily under his breath while shooting a glare at me. I am pretty sure that Eren hates me more then Jean does..

 

     “Alright. I going the fuck to sleep. Feel free to stay up.” Jean pushed me off the bed, literally, he reaches a hand out, and pushes firmly on my back so im standing up. In a flash, the bed is torn apart, blankets open, pillows re-arranged, and Jean is laying down on his side, back against the wall. His bed is pretty small..

  “No.. i think i’ll go to sleep to..” I mutter, knowing that Eren is glaring at the back of my head. No way do i want to stay awake with just him and Armin. I mean, Armin is chill, but he wont protect me from Eren...

   “Cool, hop on in then.” He pats the small space on the bed next to him. Is he serious? When he continues to look at me like that, i just except it, and slip on into the spot, in nothing but my boxers and a tanktop. The blanket is pulled over both of us, so its around Jeans shoulders. Then out of no where, Jean tangles his body with mine. Just like when we dated, he wraps a leg around my legs/ pelvis and wraps his arms tight around my torso, his head high up on my shoulder. It takes me a minute, then slowly, i start to relax, but not touch him.

   “Jean.. Can i hold you back..?” I whisper quietly so that only he could hear, and you know, not Eren. I hear a huff, and try not to giggle as Jean nods his head into my shoulder. He used to hate it when i asked before i touched him, but i cant help it, especially now, i dont want to do anything he doesnt like..

   I smile happily instead, and wrap my arms tightly around his waist and gently kiss his head.. Honestly.. I am afraid that if i let him go.. i’ll never get this again.. Why oh why couldnt i have realized what he meant to me sooner.. You know.. before i ruined his life and broke his heart..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My schedule is really tight now, so writing takes longer. Sorry. Hope you like the chapter, enjoy. Dont be afraid to comment.


	4. Not going anywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marcos awake, the others arnt yet..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know i've been gone for a few months now, and im so sorry. I got really busy, and my internet shut off. But its back! I have tons of chapters to upload for you guys. I also now have a Tumblr and a Twitter that you guys can follow, and it will have plenty of updates. Things like sneak previews, updates, heads ups, ideas, plenty of stuff like that, Or you could message or tweet me there, with suggestions, comments, ideas you may have, possible art? I love to hear from you guys! So check them out if you want.  
> Twitter is @BmaybeB  
> Tumblr is 3wordstopartners
> 
> Hope you guys are ready for plenty of chapters these next few days! Glad to be back! Feel free to comment!

    “Yo assholes, wake the fuck up!” I groan as i slowly open my eyes. One of the last things i want to wake up to is Eren Yeager cursing at me. However, the fact that Jean is currently cuddled against me, his face buried deep into my neck, counters that, and everything is suddenly okay, and i cant think of a better way to wake up. I still cant believe what happened last night.

   It was enough of a shock that he was cool with me feeding him while he did his work, like back in high school, then he invited me to stay the night, then i was told to sleep in the bed with him, from then on, not only did he cuddle against me, but he gave me permission to hold him back. We stayed like that the entire night to. You dont know how happy this makes me. Jean might really be forgiving me, he might really be willing to give me a second chance. I dont know why he would, i mean, i really did some horrible things to him.. but i do regret it now.. I was so stupid and blind back then.. Somehow i didnt see that Jean actually meant something to me.

  He was more then just a toy to me, and somehow i just couldnt see that, somehow, i didnt want to see it. I hid that from myself. I wish i didnt, i wish i could have seen what i do see now. I dont deserve a second chance, not in my mind anyway, but that wont stop be from at least trying for one. It looks like i might be lucky though. I think maybe, somewhere deep down, Jean may still love me, and that part of his heart is compelling him to give me this chance to get close to him again. I dont know, thats real hopeful thinking, but whatever, something is definitely happening here, he wouldnt just be so okay with everything that happened yesterday if he still hated me. Im just happy and content knowing he doesnt hate me, but if its possible that he may even like me back again, well you dont even know what that does to my heart beat.

   “Shove it, Yeager. Im tryn to sleep..” Jean grumbles out, nuzzling his face against my neck, it tickles a bit, and that makes me giggle quietly. Jeans pretty adorable. Eren and Armin whisper back and forth, and eventually, Jean is peacefully sleeping again. Soon after that, Armin and Eren are back asleep as well. I however, cant sleep anymore. Im starting to get restless. As much as i love holding Jean like this, I need to get up. I carefully move Jean off of me, and sit up. I make an extreme effort to be silent and not wake the others up as i slip back into my cloths from yesterday, and leave. Im not going anywhere far, and i am, of course, going to come back. Im heading to the small coffee shop thats next to the dorms.

 

     

    “Good Morning, Hanji” I greet the shops manager as i walk inside. They smile at me, and wave. “Good Morning, Bodt! What’re you doing here so early in the morn’?” Hanji is one of the nicest people you could meet. Sort of weird, but extremely nice and out going. Hanji also prefers to be Gender-less, and uses non gendered pronouns. No one around here really cares, but i can recall a few times were some people were being real Jerks about it. Others will stand up though, defend Hanji. I myself had to do it a few times. Hanji, being the nice person they are, will never let it go. Even though its no big deal, just doing whats right.

   “Getting Coffee and breakfast for some friends.” Thats what i ought to call them i think. Eren probably hates me. Armin and I sort of get along, and im just happy to say that Jean doesnt punch me in the face and spit on me everyday like i deserve. So yeah, i guess ‘Friends’ works.

   “Alright sweety, What would you like then?” I think it over for a second? What should i get them? What do they even like? I need careful decisions. It may just be coffee and breakfast, but every step counts, and adds up. I need all the points i can get.....

   Half an hour later i carefully open up the door to Jeans dorm, figuring they are all still asleep, bag from the coffee shop in hand. Instead, when i open the door, the first thing i see is a very angry Eren, which isnt saying much to be honest. A disappointed looking Armin. as well as a very sad, depressed looking Jean sitting up in his bed.

   “Oh, you guys are awake.. I brought coffee and Breakfast.” All their heads snap over to me, and Jean instantly relaxes from his worried state. What? im so confused as i shut the door behind me, and head to Eren and Armin.

   “Armin, i know your not into coffee, so i got you a chai tea, and a blue berry muffin. Eren, i have no clue what you like, But i did remember that back in high school you really loved Chocolate. So i got you a triple chocolate chip frap with a chocolate chip croissant with Nutela.” I hand them their drinks, and breakfast. Armin thanks me, and Eren just stares at the things i have given him before he talks.

   “You know Bodt.. You may not be half bad..” I guess the key to Erens heart is Chocolate.. I just nod to him, and then walk over to Jean, gently sitting on the bed next to him.

   “Of course i got you a chocolate Caramel Frap, with a chocolate chip muffin, and a cake pop.... Hey?...Whats wrong?” I hand Jean his drink, and pull out the food i got for him, but he just stares at me with this odd expression. Its sort of like.. sadness... and fear.. or worry.. I cant help but wonder why.

   “I.. I thought you ditched me.. I didnt think you were going to come back..” He mutters slowly, and quietly.. almost inaudible. Is that why they all looked the way they did when i first walked in? They thought i had changed my mind about Jean...

   “Jean.. Let me tell you.. I wouldnt dare do that to you. I told you. Im here to stay. Im going to work my ass off to even have the right to beg for your forgiveness and im not going to give up till i at least have a shot at calling you mine again. understand?” He slowly nods his head, and just leans over, and nuzzles his head into my shoulder, releasing a deep sigh. I can tell he still isnt sure of me, its just slightly there. I meant every word i said, though.

  I dont plan on giving up. Not now, not ever. I will do absolutely anything to make up for what i did. If Jean tells me to do something i will, he wants me to say something, ill say it. No matter what it is, if its for him, i’ll do it. He’s worth it, i know he is. I will work myself to pure exhaustion just to have this boy smile at me. Id work myself to the bone, everyday, for the rest of my life, as long as he doenst hate me anymore. I will not give up. Not this time. I will win Jean back, i swear it. No matter what it takes... No matter what it takes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know i've been gone for a few months now, and im so sorry. I got really busy, and my internet shut off. But its back! I have tons of chapters to upload for you guys. I also now have a Tumblr and a Twitter that you guys can follow, and it will have plenty of updates. Things like sneak previews, updates, heads ups, ideas, plenty of stuff like that, Or you could message or tweet me there, with suggestions, comments, ideas you may have, possible art? I love to hear from you guys! So check them out if you want.  
> Twitter is @BmaybeB  
> Tumblr is 3wordstopartners
> 
> Hope you guys are ready for plenty of chapters these next few days! Glad to be back! Feel free to comment!


	5. moving a little farther down the line.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short little chapter from Jeans view point. They go to see Papa Erwin, and Daddy Levi.

   “Papa! Dad!” I call out for my Fathers as i unlock, and open the plain white door to our little old styled house, Marco right behind me. Thats right, i dragged Marco to my house to meet my parents. He is absolutly terrified right now. He cant stay still, he continuously rubs the back of his neck, he hardly speaks, and when he does, its in hyper speed. He asked, 14 times on the way here, if this was a good idea. He’s worried my dad, or my papa might beat the shit out of him. I mean, they might, they really, really hated him after what happened.. But they seem to be over it... I mean... I could be wrong..

    “Jean?” I hear my papa call out. Sounds like he’s in the backyard. Dads probably with him, when we pulled up, both cars were here, so they must be home. By the way, i messaged my dads earlier in the day to tell them this was coming, so its not a surprise or anything like that.

  “Come on, they’re out back.” I smile at Marco, taking his shaking, nervous hand in mine, and tug him along. He does not fight it, he hasnt tried to fight it at all. I told him it would mean the world to me if he came with me today, so he agreed, even if it meant a possible trip to the emergency room..

  “O-okay..” He stutters out, following obediently after me, holding my hand in a terror induced death grip. I sigh, and stop, right before the door to the back yard patio, and turn to Marco. Placing my free hand on his cheek, and gently connecting are lips for a second, before smiling softly at him. I feel bad alright. I am putting him through some tests today, and so far, being willing to meet up with my parents, who he knows probably want to murder him, just to make me happy, is a very good start. Part of me feels like a shit person for doing this, but another part of me is smirking, knowing he deserves these tests.

  “I wont let them hurt you..” I whisper quietly to him. I feel i should at least give him some sort of relief. He sighs a bit, even though he’s still tense, and nods his head. Being a brave soul, he reaches, and opens up the door for me, and together, we step out into the backyard.

   “Hey,son.” My dad greets me casually from his spot next to Papa on the patio. His shard grey eyes switch over from me, to marco, and they narrow. “Bodt.” He says simply. Marco nods to him.

  “G-Good to see you, sir.” My dad nods his head. Papa smiles over at us. “Great to see the both of you, you gonna join us?” I squeze Marcos hand as i lead him over to the set of chairs surrounding the glass table. “Oh uhm.. This is for the two of you. I remember Jean telling me that you both really love to go to the movies, and i worked a part time job their not to long ago, so I got you this..” I watch in shock as he fumbles through his pockets nervously, and pulls out a red gift-card to the local theater, and hands it over to my papa.

  “50 dollars?” His blue eyes scan over the card, then sets it down. “Thats very nice of you, thank you, we really do enjoy going to the theater.” What shocks me the most about this, is i havnt told Marco anything about my parents since highschool. Which means he doesnt just remember everything about me, he remembers just about everything i ever told him... just.. wow.. I can’t help it when my face heats up.

  “Thanks.” My dad mumbles, looking at the gift card, then at me, and i shrug to him. He thought i told him to do this, but i didnt. Ii had no clue he got them a gift card like this. We’ve been here like ten minutes, and he’s passed like three tests already. Time for the fourth i guess..

  “Im gonna go get us all something to drink, okay?” Before any objections can be said, im back in the house, and in the kitchen, taking my sweet time to go threw the fridge, and get together some drinks. Marco is probably freaking right now cause i left them alone, and im so sorry. I feel bad, i really do.. But i need to force him through these tests. If he passes, i’ll make it up to him, and i can start taking more steps into trusting him again.

   In all honesty. Theres a part of me that still fucking hates Marco, and all the fucked up shit he did to me, But a large portion of me really wants to forgive him, and is screaming at the chance to have him again like in highschool, but even better. Because this time, something tells me it wont be un-requited love.

   “Hah! Thats damn brilliant!” When i walk back out, i am very surprised to be greeted by laughter, and smiling. Even dad has a slight smile on his face. I was gone for three fucking minutes, what the hell happened?!

  “Here we go..” I say, placing down an iced drink for each of us. A lemonade for papa, an iced tea for papa, a Dr.Pepper for Marco and a Mountain Dew for myself. Do i even want to know what they were talking about while i was gone? Probably not if it made Dad smile so easily. I mean, its not like he never smiles or anything like that, just, Marco, someone who really hurt his beloved son, made him smile. I am suspicious. Marco smiles at me as i sit down next to him again, and they all thank me.

   “Id like to say something? Now that, Jean is back to hear this, again, cause i know i’ve said it to him a hundred times, but that’s still not enough... I am sorry..I did some horrible things that i truly regret now. I want to make up for them.. I plan to do anything possible to make things right. I just wanted to give you guys a proper apology, i did something awful to all of you, and you deserve to know that i do regret it, and that i will make it up.” Marco admits. He’s right, he has told me this many times, and it still, really isnt enough.

   “You know bodt, your a decent kid.” My dad says, and Papa Erwin nods in agreement. Marco smiles slightly, but i can tell his whole body is shaking. I dint ask him to come with me so he can say sorry, i just brought him to see a few trivial things, like my past, and my parents, since they are very important to me. I reach my hand over, and place it firmly on my freckled boy’s thigh, and squeeze, in return, he gives me a thankful sigh. After that, we go onto normal talk of school, classes, plans of the future. My parents seem to be delighted by Marco, just as they always have been.

   Dad gives me this look as Papa and Marco discuss Europe, and his look is completely understood. He’s telling me Marco is okay, worth giving a chance to, but no matter what, he cant get rid of what he’s done. It will never be okay, and he will never forgive it, but its okay to create something new. I agree, Marco certainly passed this little series of test, and were ready to take another little step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, hope you like this little chapter, dont be afraid to comment! i love them. You can follow me on twitter, or tumblr for updates on whats going on.


	6. comfortable?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stop to grab a bite to eat

  “You did allot better with my parents today then I thought you would, to be honest.” I shrug, sending a smile at Marco as we climb into the car at the end of the day. We spent the rest of the day just chatting, then we piled into the living room, watched a couple episode of ‘The Simpsons’, ate a few sandwiches, watched more tv, then we had to leave.

  “I did allot better with your parents then _I_   thought I would.. Seriously though, I almost had a heart attack when you left us alone for the first time..” I let out a chuckle as Marco releases a sigh, and leans back against the seat. I start up the car, and pull out of my parents driveway. I glance at him from the corner of my eye as he closes his own, relaxing. He’s comfortable. That’s good.. He’s comfortable with me again, it seems every time we are alone together, he’s a bit nervous, like he’s worried that he’s gonna screw something up. I dont blame him for being on edge like that, he should be, but I need to break him down, and get him completely comfortable with me again. Comfortable means real, in the simplest terms.

  “You hungry?” I ask, he hums quietly for a second, quickly opening his eyes, and becoming aware of the situation again. There, right damn there. That shows he’s still placing himself in restraints. Trying to be perfect. I dont want perfect though, I want Marco..

  “A little. Are you hungry at all?” He asks, sitting back up, and setting his eyes on me. I try to hide my dissatisfaction and nod a little with a smile. “Should we stop somewhere and grab a quick dinner?” He asks, beating me to the punch on purpose. I am not all that hungry, I could go a bit longer before considering food, but now is a chance to be alone with him, and break down the walls and shatter those chains he’s holding on himself.

  “Sounds good to me, where should we go?” I ask, trying to focus on the road, and attempting to think of all the possible, non- fast food places in the area. Im not a fan of fast food, okay? “Wherever’s fine? Where do you want to go?” I snort, of course he wants me to pick.

  “So if I said Mcdonald’s you’d be okay with it?” I mock him, and he just rolls his eyes at me. “You hate McDonald’s with a passion.” He argues with me and I chuckle a bit, he’s right.

   “Okay, you got me there. How about that new spicy BBQ place? I hear they specialize in the world hottest foods, Like there ice cubes have hot sauce in them.” Marco playfully glares at me, and smacks my shoulder lightly as I joke. Marco hates spicy food, it hurts his stomach like hell. I remember one time we went on a date at this new Chinese place that had just opened up. He ordered the green beens and beef not knowing it was gonna be spicy as heck. I spent the entire night at his house, comforting him as he curled up in a ball on his bed, holding his stomach and whining because it hurt so bad. “So where should we go then?” I ask again, he sighs, and pauses to think about it.

   “There’s at least three steak houses in this area, five Mexican diners, 6 burger joints, four Chinese places, that one Greek place, and the seafood house. Which one you thinking?” I state are possible choices, eliminating the fast food and the hot house BBQ place, because those are not options for either of us.

  “Lets just go to the nearest burger place then?” He shrugs, okay, I go with that. It’s a little past 6:30, prime dinner time, we’ll be fine. “Alright, sounds good to me.” I look around the street, okay. Where are we? Looks like were near walmart, The closest burger joint is just down the street from here, and it’s not to bad. Decent food at decent prices, nothing to really complain about. I think its called little patties or something like that. Okay, that’s were we are going I guess.

This place good for you?” I ask about two minutes later as we excite the car, and walk into the little joint. Smells like French Fries. Now, I am definitely hungry. Marco nods his head as we step in line, and examine the large menu above the cashier. I know what i want. I want the mushroom burger with French fries and fried pickles. I bet you Marco is gonna get a chicken sandwich of some sort, fries, fried zucchini, and probably a strawberry milk-shake. As he looks over the menu, I look around the place. It’s simple. Light orange tan walls, white tile floors, white benches and tables. Posters all around the place of old cars, and old musicians. I can name all the classic cars and the musicians on the walls to. There’s a little stand in the corner with the soda fountain, and condiments. There arnt many people in here. There’s about seven people eating, there’s a group of two in front of us, looks like husband and wife to me.

  “How may I help you today?” The cashier greets Marco and I as the couple ahead of us step aside to get their drinks, and we step up to the counter to order. “Hello, Can I get the number 12 meal, with an order of fried zucchini, and... a strawberry milk shake please? Jean, what do you want?” Marco looks at me as the lady types out his order into the computer. The number 12 is a crispy chicken sandwich with fries. I so fucking called it.

 “The Mushroom burger with fries, and an order of fried pickles.” I tell the lady, she nods her head, and types the order into the computer, before she can ask me another question, Marco asks me first.“Do you want a Large soda? Or something else?” I nod my head for a large soda, and he tells the girl to add that, with a please and thank you. She does add it, and the total pops up.

  “That’ll be 16.34, thank you” Before I can even move, Marco has already payed for the food, and is grabbing the receipt, and my cup. I blink, and turn to raise an eyebrow at him. Why did he pay for both ours? Actually, wait. Why wouldnt he. If I remember correctly, he hardly ever let me pay for my own stuff. He liked paying for me, his family’s pretty dang well off, and give him a good amount of money every month for food, and fun, sand what not. He used to tell me there was not better way to spend it on me... because his parents told him to spend it wisely, on things that would make him happy, and keep him healthy, and nothing did both as well as I did...

  I cant help but wonder.. Did he ever mean that? Every time he ever told me that, it made my soul light up, It made me so happy each time, I just felt warm all around, and I wouldnt stop smiling after he said it.. Was it just something he said to string me along farther back then, was there any truth at all in those words? I want to know, but I know asking will completely bring down the mood, and it’l ruin what I want to achieve here.

  “You grab us a table, I’ll get your drink. Orange soda, right?” He asks, I smile a bit, and nod my head. The fact that he still remembers all this stuff from highschool makes me so incredibly happy. The tiniest little details, he remembers them in full. He wouldnt bother to even listen, let alone remember trivial bits like that if all he wanted was to screw me and ditch me, right? There had to be more to it. He says there is now, and I really want to believe it, its hard, but I am trying. I walk to the line up of booths, and scan around. The corner one should be the best. There’s no one sitting in that area, that’s a good place to just chill and talk freely, which is exactly what I want. I go, and sit down, patiently waiting for Marco as he gets are drink, and are food.

  “Well hey there.” Someone slides into the seat across from me, causing me to jump. What in the ever loving fuck, How the fuck did they get there without me noticing before hand, wait a minute, is that? “Thomas?” I choke out. Well shit, havnt seen this guy since freshmen year. He’s a sweet kid I guess, really nice, we dated for like.. Two weeks, He disappeared and for about a week, I had no fucking clew were he went, till his parents contacted me saying he had to move to New York with his grand parents due to financial problems. I said okay, and got over it pretty quick, Thomas didnt exactly have my full attention back then. At the same time, I had my several year crush on Eren’s sister Mikasa. Thomas had a crush on me, he asked me out. He was nice, cute, so I said yes. It was a good relationship I guess, nothing special though. I thought about Thomas every now and then though.. until that is, Uh, well Marco happened..

  “Didnt think you’d remember me, or recognize me for that.” He’s not wrong. His Blonde hair, and big blue eyes are the same, but he’s hell of a lot taller, and a little tanner. Still pretty good looking though, however, he’s nothing compared to Marco in my opinion.. “When did you get back from New York?” I ask, leaning on the table a bit to talk to him. He smiles a bit, probably happy to know that I remember what happened back then.

   “Came back over summer. I raised money so that I could move back here, and go to college.” So he’s just now starting college? Huh. Late start, but that’s okay, Im sure he can handle it. “Nice.” I comment, he nods his head, and I catch his eyes scanning over me. Oh my god, is he checking me out? No, probably not.

  “Hey.. Uh.. since I sort of left in the middle of are relationship all those years ago, you think its possible for us to get a date, and catch up where we left off?” Oh my god, he was checking me out, he’s trying to hit on me. Dear god. What do I do? Im not good with this kind of stuff? Wheres Marco? Dammit I think he’s still getting are food, he hasnt even noticed Thomas here with me, uh shit. Okay, you got this Jean, turn him down, nice and easy..

  Wait, why do I have to turn him down? Im not dating anyone? I am technically single? He’s not bad looking, and he’s still just as nice as he was back in highschool. I dont think I would mind trying it again with him. But Marco... No, Marco’s not my boyfriend.. But.. I want him to be, again.. That’s why I have to reject him.. Marco may be an ass that broke my heart, but he’s also the asshole that’s gonna fix my heart, dammit.

  “Im sorry, Thomas. Im sort of on a date..” I apologize, I almost add ‘With my boyfriend’ but I stop myself. He sighs, and nods his head, being completely acceptant of it. “Got yourself a boyfriend, huh?” He asks, and I open my mouth to correct him, but the voice heard is not my own.

“Yup.” I jump in my seat, and look up to see Marco, standing there, holding are tray of food, including both are drinks, condiments, and napkins. Thomas looks at Marco, pausing for a second. He recognizes him.

  “Marco Bodt?” Marco smiles kindly as he sets down the tray, and slides into the booth, next to me, protectively wrapping an arm over my shoulder. Hold up, is Marco jealous? I did tell Marco about Thomas at some point, i had to have, does he remember that to? Is that why? “Hi, Thomas, right?” Marco’s smile is genuine, but it’s not his average smile. He remembers Thomas alright, and I think he really might be jealous, cute.

  “You guys are dating?” Thomas asks, he seems.. unusually surprised? “Who else have you dated since I left? Im sure you’ve gotten plenty of callers.” Thomas makes a quick change into playfully teasing me. I blush a bit, and shake my head.

  “Uh, not really, no. The only person I dated in highschool was Marco. Then this year I sort of had a little thing with Mikasa Ackermen, and I’ve had a little thing With Eren Yeager as well, and then Marco again.. So yeah, no..” Technically, Mikasa and I only went on a few dates, and we found no interest in going farther then those few, so we didnt. Eren and I just liked to toy so we didnt actually date.. So really, only Marco..

   “You guys broke up, then got back together after two years?” Wait, I didnt specify how long was in between, how did he get two years?

  “Sadly , I made some major foolish mistakes, and practically forced the best thing that has ever happen to me, run away. That’s in the past now, so dont worry about it. I dont plan on loosing this one again.” Marco squeezes me closer, and places a gentle kiss on my forehead, that combined with the words he’s spouting makes my face heat up in a deep blush. I know Marcos only doing this cause he’s jealous and he’s claiming whats his and all that bullshit, but I’m not complaining.

  “So are you going to join us and eat something?” Marco changes the subject after that, as I hide my embarrassing tomato face in his shoulder. “Oh no, sorry. I was throwing my trash away when I spotted a familiar face, and I stopped to say hi. I’ll be going, see you around.” I move my face away from Marco to watch as Thomas gets up from the bench, and walks to the exit. “See yah around.” I call back, he nods in response, and then he’s gone. Marco sighs, and removes his arm from around me.

  “You were totes jealous.” I whisper, mocking Marco silently as I reach over and shove a couple of fries in my mouth. Thank god, the foods not completely cold, its still pretty warm.

  “I.. I know.. I saw you talking with him, I recognized him, and I honestly got scared and thought you were gonna get caught up in the past and run off with some other guy..Sorry..” His face heats up in a light pink blush, illuminating all his cute freckles. “Dont be sorry, it was cute..” I cant help but smile as I eat. Marco smiles as well, and joins in. We dont bother with whose food is food. Whats his is mine, and whats mine is his. We always ended up picking something we knew we both equally likes. So I take a sip of the strawberry milk shake, and he’d take some friend pickles. Id take a bit of his chicken sandwhich, and he’d still a bite of my burger. Simple as that. We didnt share food, because that would break the purpose of it. It wasnt his food that he was sharing with me, or vise versa, it was our food. We used to do this all the time, without really realizing it, or planning it, we just did it. It makes me happy to know were closer to being on the same terms that we were when we dated in high school. Just.. I feel like something is missing..

  “Yah know, it feels nice seeing you so freely happy like this..” Marco comments, sort of like he’s thinking out loud as he nibbles on a French fry. I nod my head with a smile as I reach for the drink.

“I almost forgot to say it.. I am glad you agreed to eat with me, and Im glad you let me pay. Since highschool, I havnt spent much of the monthly money my parents give me. Without you around, i had nothing to spend it on. You know, they always tell me to spend it wisley, on somehting that will bring me both health and happiness, but nothing can do both, except for you. So do me a favor, so that I can have fun while keeping up with my good health, would you come to the mall with me tomorrow?” He gives me the most innocent, shy grin, I almost choke on my orange soda. That’s the cheesiest fucking way he has ever asked me out. But you know what, I like it. I sent my drink down slowly, and lean towards him, planting a soft kiss against his cheek. His cheeks turn dark red, and his eyes go wide as I pull away from him.

  “What was that?” He gasps out, sort of like a dyeing fish, if dyeing fish were extremely adorable that is. Just a while ago, Marco verified something Thomas said, and it made me far to happy to be able to let it go, so Im not going to.

  “What? Am I not allowed to kiss my boyfriend on the cheek?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this chapter!


	7. In his on time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of Marco's thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this story is actually coming to end, this will be one of the last chapters, The next one might be the last, Im not quite sure yet. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter.

  “What the fuck is he doing here?” Eren mutters, obviously unhappy when I walk into Jeans dorm.

   Yesterday, Jean declared himself my boyfriend, and I couldn’t be happier. I think back to the first time I tried to talk to him after two years, when Eren jumped on his back, and they left. That night, I sat in bed, and spent hours thinking about Jean, and our past relationship. I found myself remembering the smallest, most insignificant details about him, I remember what his first grade teachers name was, it was Ms.Petra. I remember that he went through a faze at the age of six when all he would eat or drink was apples, and it’s juice, and that it lasted exactly a week before he started throwing up and didn’t eat apples again for two years. I remember that when he was ten, his favorite color was pink, and that his favorite food as a baby was the home made omelets his mom made. When he was four, he had a pony names Grey that would not only refuse to be ridden, but also kicked him. He tripped over his own feet when he was eleven and broke his arm, he never learned how to ride a bike, and he has had a Christmas advent calender with little homemade chocolates in the dates, each year of his life. Little things like that, that just randomly popped up in conversation, and they stuck with me, but get this, I can’t even tell you the last name of the last person I dated, to be honest, I am not even sure who the last person I dated was. Once I realized this, I kept, examining things. I realize, I went slower with Jean then I usually did with people. I could have fucked Jean with in a week of our relationships, but in months, I chose to never go that far.. I actually listened when he talked, obviously, but I don’t tend to care about what my date-mates talk about. I cared about him, If he wasn’t there for a day, I was worried, and I texted him, asking if he was okay. I didn’t try to restrain anything. In situations, exactly like Jeans, I always kept physical, romantic contact to a minimum, claiming it made me a bit uncomfortable, which, I won’t lie, it actually sort of did. But with Jean? I didn’t bother. If he wanted a hug, I gave him one. If he wanted a kiss, I gave it to him. If he wanted to hold hands, I did it. If he wanted to cuddle, I would cuddle with him for hours, without even thinking about pulling a sexual move. I’ve been in plenty of situations like I was with Jean, just trying to get close to do them, but I never did any of the stuff I did with Jean, with others. I spent even more hours trying to come up with why. Why on earth would I do this for a simple boy? I realize now that it is because I love him. I didn’t see it then, because I was scared, and stupid, but I see it now. I was in love with, Jean, genuine love, and I am now. The second I saw him, it all came crashing down on me. I think Im even more in love now, then I was then... Or maybe not... He’s different now, not the same person.. Im in love with Jean, this Jean, just as much as I loved the old him, and I will continue to love him.

  “I have chocolate?” I offer to Eren, and his eyes instantly light up. He loves chocolate, as mentioned before. He’s all bark and no bite, and he responds nicely to a little bribe. I don’t want him to stop hating me, I know that sounds weird, but it’s what I deserve. I hurt Jean, badly, and I know it, and I deserve all the hate Eren can throw at me. I just want him to be quite for a little bit.

   “You know my weaknesses, Bodt.” He stares contently at the candy bar as I hold it out to him. It’s just a plain, milk chocolate bar, but that’s what he likes. He snatches it up, and goes back to calmly talking to Armin.

  “Marco.” Jeans voice calls out to me from his bed, he just sort of flops down on it with all the majestic skills of a whale, and pats the space beside him. To respond to Erens quesiton from early: I actually have no Idea why I am here. I’ll have to actually ask Jean that question, but for now, I make my way over to his bed, and gently sit down besides him. He huffs, an unpleasant sigh, like I did something wrong.

  “I wanted you to lay down with me.” He grumbles, like a grumpy three year old who didn’t get the candy they wanted. He rolls around on the bed like an awkward seal till he’s laying on his side, and facing the wall. I chuckle silently at his unorthodox method of changing position, and fix my own, in a more logical sense. I lay myself down behind him, and wrap my arms carefully around his waist, tugging him back against me. I prop my head up slightly to kiss his cheek, and to whisper in his ear.

“Is this what you wanted?” I ask quietly, he replies with a slight nod, nuzzling back against me. I smile, and lay my head back down, and place a soft kiss to his shoulder. He said he wanted me to lay down with him, so I am, simple as that.

  “So is this all you want to do today?” I ask after a few seconds of silence. I guess that's one way of me asking why he brought me to his dorm today, just to cuddle, which is, by all means, completely okay with me, it’s great, Im just curious. Jean wiggles around in my arms, and turns around to face me. His golden eyes staring up at me, his hands gripping at my shirt, bundling it up in his fists.

  “I thought we’d you know.. Just chill..” He shrugs his shoulders a bit, which he proves to be difficult in his current position. I think I need a little more clarification then that, I mean, I know what the phrase 'to chill’ means, but I dont know what he means by it.

  “So we are just gonna lay in bed all day?” He snorts at my question, and presses his forehead against my chest. He’s silent for a moment, it’s not long, or awkward, it’s simple silence, and every now and then, that silence is comforting.

  “Well yeah.. I.. I guess so.. I mean, we used to this sort of thing all the time.. right? Just lay around, not doing anything.. Just sort of talking.. and cuddling.. with no real intentions? Maybe watch a movie or something.. I just... I was thinking about stuff last night.. and this.. this sounded really good..” His voice got a little softer, it became quite. I think it’s because Eren and Armin are not only in the room, but only a bed away. They are probably not even paying attention, but he still doesn’t want them hearing personal stuff I guess. He used to be really embarrassed about anything romantic, he’d give me a bright blush, and look at me like a fish out of water if I even dared to kiss his cheek in public, obviously, he pays less attention to public displays affection now, he simply got used to it I guess, but when it comes to personal and emotional things, he’s still the same, shy little boy.

  “Sounds good to me then.” I gently kiss the top of his head, and hold him closer to me, if thats even possible. He sighs softly, and tangles are legs together, making us two inter-locking puzzle pieces, and I know it’s going to be extremley difficult to get up later, that is, if we ever actually want to get up.

  “Well, We’ll see you guys later. Were meeting Mikasa for dinner.” I can hear the sound of the two others getting up from their own beds, and making their way to the door. Armin calls out to us, explaining their leaving.

  “Later. Please don’t fuck on my bed.” Eren’s good bye is a little, okay, a lote more crude then Armins was. The door shuts with a tight 'click’ behind them, while Jeans body shakes against mine with silent laughter. His laughter only worsens when from the other side of the door, you can here Armin scolding Eren.

  “Eren, it’s not even your bed, it’s mine.” After that, there is a jumbled reply from Eren that Jea just finds hilarious. He shakes his head against my chest when his laughter dies down.

  “They are so fucking ridiculous..” He mutters quietly. I can’t help but give a small laugh myself, in agreement. “I swear, Eren hardly ever leaves my dorm, like he practically lives here now.” Jean continues on, mindlessly. Amused by his own voice, but to be fair, it amuses me to.

   “At least he some what contributes, like a few days ago he bought us pizza, or sometimes he fills the mini fridge with soda. He helps us clean up ocasionally, he’s horrible at it though, and often makes it worse, but at least he try’s, you know? So he’s not a complete ass. And then the other, Ymir and Reiner had a battle, like it was the stupidest thing ever, they wanted to see who was, and I quote ‘The ultimate gay’, and it was the most disturbing thing I have ever seen and heard in my entire life. I learned more about those two then I ever wanted to. Oh, I guess I didn’t tell you? Ymir and Krista started hanging out in my group again, ever since I started talking to you again. Its like some invisible barrier just vanished. Its cool, that we all get to be friends again. Jesus christ, and then that same day, fucking Eren accidently pushed me into Annie, and she fell to the floor, so when she got up, she kicked us both right in the gut. Annie fucking terrifies me, and she could probably kill a man with that kick of hers if she wanted to, but she’s really chill and funny sometimes. and next week, my fucking geography teacher decided were going to have to take a test. He’s gonna give us a blank map of the world, and he wants us to fill it in. Naming every country and it’s capital, and every major body of water. Every last one of them. Do you know how fucking hard that is. I am so screwed once I get passed the America’s, I can handle some of Europe and Asia, only some. I am so screwed, I should be studying, but I don’t want to kill my brain. And I am talking way to much, why arnt you stopping me?” Jean continues on, and on about a few different random things going on in his life, and I pay close attention to every last word. When he stops, realizing that he had been babbling on, he looks up at me, his face burning with slight embarrassment, it’s cute really.

   “Because your cute.” I press my lips gently to his nose, and he wrinkles it up in reaction. “That’s not an answer, Dork.” I chuckle a bit again, I guess he wants an actual answer, I assumed it was a rhetorical question that I was just mockingly answering.

  “Because you like to talk, and I like listening to you.” I try again, his face red-ens greatly, and he presses his forehead against my chest again, trying to him. He mumbles something against my shirt, and I can’t understand a single syllable of it.

  “Im sorry, what was that?” I am not trying to be a smart ass, and tease him or anything, I really just want to know what he said. He shakes his head, tossing his ash blond hair around a bit. “Nothing..” He mutters beneath his breath, but I have a feeling it wasn’t nothing, but rather, something important, but Im not going to press him about it. If it really is important, he’ll say it to me in his own time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter! This will be one of the last!


	8. I made the right choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeaan makes his decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There's a bit of smut going on towards the end, if you want, you can just skip over it. 
> 
> This is the last chapter! I repeat, this story is officially over! I am sorry, and I will miss this story, but I did originally plan to make this a short story, and I am going to keep it that way! I hope you guys liked this story!

“I can’t believe you can even look at that asshole, let alone forgive him, after all the shit he put you through.” Reiner has been whining non stop all day, lunch is no excuse for him to stop, if anything, with all are friends around, who will probably back him up on it, is a legit excuse for him to talk about it even more. He’s upset because I told him I have a date with Marco tonight. A complete, ‘let’s make this official’, fancy sort of date. I already explained to Reiner and Eren what my intention are with this date. Eren said, and I quote: “It’s about fucking time, god damn.” Whereas Reiner threw a fuckn tantrum. Now here we are, at lunch, all together at one table and eating, and almost everyone is giving me weird looks. Like fucking honestly? They’re my friends, and I love them, and I get why they do and say the things they do, but it’s non of their fucking business. If I ask for their help or opinion or whatever, that’s when they have a right to step in, other wise, they need to let me grow up, and make my own life.

“Reiner. Chill the fuck out. I’ve talked to Marco a good few times since things changed. He’s alright. Even Armin thinks so. Krista to. Krista wouldn’t lie, and she’s not lying when she say’s that Marco really loves Jean.”  Eren  barks back, trying his best to protect me, and I am very thankful for it. However, my face heats up at that word, Love. The way he says that word gives me chills, he makes it sound like an excuse, I don’t like it. Love doesn’t excuse Marco from the shitty things he’s done. Love doesn’t excuse me for being stupid enough to fall the first time, and it’s not an excuse for me falling the second time, and forgiving him. Love isn’t an excuse, It’s a motivator, a cause. Love is partly why Marco did those fucked up things, and it’s why he wants to make up for them. Love is why I was fooled the first time, and again now, and why I am bothering to forgive him.

“Krista may not be the liar, It could be him.” Reiner is stubborn, he’s not backing down, he just glares at me, or Eren, who sits closely to me to feel like he is protecting me.

“That’s bullshit. I’ve seen the way he looks at Jean, the way he holds him, and talks to him. That’s to real to be fake.” Eren is just as stubborn as Reiner, maybe even worse. It’s funny that maybe only about a week or so ago, that Eren was about as against Marco as Reiner is now.

“Yeah. He looks at Jean like a piece of fucking meat. Marco is a fucking hungry lion, and Jeans an innocent little lamb.” The big blond hisses angry, crossing his arms over his chest, making it clear he won’t budge.

“Reiner. Look, I know your just worried about Jean getting hurt again, we all are. But listen. Eren used to hate Marco even more then you did, and now he’s okay with it. Why? Because he knows the truth now, and he knows what it’l do for Jean.” Armin pipes up, trying his best to talk a bit of sense into our friend. But it doesn’t work so well.

“What’s happen is that Jean will end up being used again, probably worse this time around.” Reiner speaks like Im not even there, and I snort loudly. That’s it. Im done here, Im tired of the others having to fight this battle for me, Im fully stepping in this time.

“Reiner, Im right fucking here. And I know what I am doing.” Reiner looks from Armin, to me, and his scowl tightens, golden eye dimming.

“Oh. I know. And that’s the worse fucking part about it. You are so willing to forgive him. Your the one he hurt for fucks sake.” Reiner sounds almost disgusted, he probably is. Does it hurt? Yeah, A little, I mean, he’s my friend, I don’t ever want my friends to sound like that towards me, but I am also really pissed, because this isn’t just about me, it’s about Marco to.

“Exactly. Im the one who was hurt. So if I can forgive him, then so can you.” Eren and Armin nod along with me, agreeing. This argument has been going on all day, and all I tried to do, up till now, is avoid it as much as possible, but now, I plan to end it.

“No.” Reiner refuses my statement. God damn, he’s like a wall, un-movable.Mentally and physically. Well if I can’t move the damn wall then I am just gonna have to destroy it.

“He’s changed Reiner. Just give it a fucking chance, would you?” He snorts, Like I just told him the most ridiculous thing possible.

“People don’t fucking change, they just find new ways to lie.” Before I can counter this, his boyfriend chuckles beside him. Not a happy chuckle, but an angry chuckle, a murderous laugh. Bertholdt, the silent, and nervous giant, has been awakened, and he seems pretty ticked off.

“Your one to ridicule change, Reiner. Just new ways of lying, huh?” Reiners eyes go wide, and he release his mistake, the rest of us don’t seem to understand. The next to speak up is Annie, whose known the two the longest.

“He’s right, Reiner. You don’t have any room to talk. You bullied Bertholdt from third grade, all the way to our freshman year in high school,  you made his life hell. You were the hugest asshole, not to mention you were a totally straight, ‘No-homo’ type of dude. When you confessed to Bertholdt, he eventually forgave you, now look at you. Don’t you dare say people can’t change, especially not for the better, when you sure as hell did.” Annie tends to be quiet, and straight faced, strict while also being rather laid back. However, important fact about her, she will not take shit from anyone, not even her best friends. Reiner grumbles, not happy about being knocked back into his place.

“Seriously? Am I really the only one who thinks it’s a horrible fucking idea?” He tries one last attempt, and I can tell he’s desperate here. It takes a second, but the others slowly begin to pipe up.

“No. I think he’s an idiot for doing it. But you know what? He’s happy.” Mikasa is the first one to speak up. She sends me a soft smile as she talks, and I gladly return it. Mikasa it was sparks the others to speak up as well.

“Mikasa is right. Seriously. We were all pretty gosh dang pickled over the whole thing. But I think if Jean can look past it, then we should to, right? We should support him in trying to be happy.” Sasha talks, while she’s got a few chips in her mouth, but were all so used to her eating and talking at the same time, we hardly notice or care.

“Agreed. Let the boy be happy. It’s his choice to be stupid.” Connie jumps in after, well practically overlapping Sasha.

“Even if Marco hurts him again, I think it would be worth it. He’ll be happy until then, right? So I’d rather have a happy Jean, then a lonely and depressed one.” Armin adds a bit of different perspective. He isn’t wrong. Even if Marco does hurt me again.. If I somehow hurt Marco. If anything goes wrong. Then at least I can be happy in the mean-time.

“Jean’s a whole lot less annoying when he’s happy and distracted. I am all for it. Right buddy?” Erens arm hooks around my shoulders, and he ruffles up the top of my hair, earning a scowl.

“I agree with you, Reiner, I really do. It’s a stupid idea, and the last thing I want is for him to get hurt. But I can’t give him advice I myself refused to follow. Look where that got me. Sometimes, stupid actions, have the best results.” I watch, sort of grossly amused when Bertholdt nervously takes hold of his boyfriends hand, and follows it up by kissing the blond mans cheek. Reiner sighs and slowly nods his head.

“Okay. Okay. Whatever. I get it. Jean, go ahead and be a stubborn idiot, I’ll be fine with it. But I swear to God if he hurts you again, even slightly, I am gonna break his face, and Im gonna rip his dick off. He better be fucking worth this..” The last part is slightly mumbled, but we all hear it, and we all give somewhat of a laugh, letting the previous tense moment subside. You know? I really love my friends.. They may be complete asshats sometimes, but Gosh do I love them.. Whatever would I do without them..

* * *

 

“You do know we can’t avoid it anymore, not tonight.” Marco sits across from me, fork and knife cutting away at a slab of steak. He pauses, sets down his utensils, wipes his hands on a napkin, and adjusts his button up blue shirt.

“I figured we would have to eventually..” He grumbles, looking me directly in the eyes. He looks so.. sullen.. almost like he’s in pain.

“You do realize what you did to me, Don’t you.” I chew at my lower lip, my hands clutched tightly together in my lap, as I ignore my own food. He lets out a long, shaky breath and nods his head.

“Of course I do, and that was the biggest mistake of my life. I never... I never realized why I was doing it though.. I still don’t know why I did it.. I was an asshole.. I tricked you, played with your emotions, I broke your heart, and I ruined your life. I will always regret it, and honestly, till this day,  I don’t think I deserve any form of forgiveness from you.” He never breaks eye contact with me. His dark brown eyes look like that of a wounded animal, and he gulps hard. He doesn’t like this. He thinks this conversation is going somewhere that it’s not. I am not going to correct him though. Not yet.

“You destroyed me. I was absolutely in love with you, and you knew it, and you used it to your advantage. You played with me, and played with other guys on the side. You sent out things that were private, to people all over our school. You broke me, Marco, and all I ever did was love you.” The chewing at my lip becomes harsher, to the point were I begin to feel the copper taste of blonde against my tongue. I knew this wouldn’t be easy, I knew it was gonna kill me inside, and I was right. This hurts. Marco can’t feel any better then I do.

“No. That’s a lie. I said that to piss you off. Too make you feel like you were unimportant.. During that time, I did not dare touch anyone else.. I never hesitated to cheat before. But I couldn’t do that with you. Nor did I send your pictures to everyone. I sent them to one person, On accident to, it was suppose to send a picture of the math homework.. I clicked the wrong image without checking. They’re the ones who distributed it. I just went with it because you had already figured out my intention with you, and.. and I didn’t know what else to do. I swear on my fucking grave, on my mother, on every single member of my family, that I am not lying to you right now.. I just.. I was just a heartless asshole..” Well thats.. new information.. Why the hell didn’t he tell me that sooner?! Why is he waiting till now to.. Oh.. He didn’t want to bring up the situation at all.. because I would take it as him trying to clear his name..  But I know him, he wouldn’t swear on anyone, he hates doing that, he visibly winced when people did it before, I know he means this now.. Things are cleared up a bit, but that doesn’t change the fact that his original intentions were to fuck and run with me..

“I believe you.. but that doesn’t change that you broke my heart. That you used me. Nothing will ever change that.” Marco begins to chew at his own lip, his eyes beginning to water. It’s now or never..

“However. Nothings going to change the fact that I love you, either.” His eyes practically pop out of his head, and he freezes in place.

“I will never fucking forget the ways you have hurt me in the past, Marco Bodt, but I’ll be damned if that stops me from loving you in the future..” He lets out another shaky breath, and swallows hard, a smile tugging up on his lips. Before I know it, he’s leaning over the table, pulling me forward by my black t-shirt, and slamming his lips over mine, kissing me passionately.

 

“My god, I love you.” Marco holds me up against the wall of his dorm room, kissing my cheek, and my jaw line over and over again. I smile, and tangle my hands in his hair.

“I love you to.” I whisper. It feels weird to say it. I feel like it’s too good to be true, Not us being okay, and him loving me, and all that, that’s real. It’s me being able to love him, truly feel this love for him, this is what feels to good to be true, but I know it is.

“Mmm.. You know, you said we couldn’t do anything until I understood your real intentions with me. I think I understand pretty dang well now..” I try my best to sound seductive to him, and he moves his lips away from my jaw to look at me with a grin.

“Jean Kirtstien, are you giving me permission to fuck you?” He purrs, but there is a slight chuckle in his voice, like he is slightly amused.

“Only if you plan to fuck me again tomorrow, and still be around to cuddle afterwards.”  This time, his chuckle is straight forward, and he nods his head excitedly.

“Oh. Most definitely.” His fingers trace down my sides, till he’s gripping at the hem of my shirt, then yanks the cloth over my head, and tosses it. Returning his lips to mine, and kissing me harshly one its gone. Are teeth clack against each other by accident, and there is nothing graceful about the way we make out against the wall. It is all full force, heated passion. His hands traveling up and down my bare sides, squeezing at my hips every now and then.

“Did Eren and you really do it?” He asks, moving his lips away from mine. Why is he asking this now of all times? My question is answered when I notice the pure amount of lust, envy and jealousy.

“Oh, Yeah. Don’t worry though, didn’t I tell you, I prefer you?” I try my best to tease him a bit, trying to work with the fire in his eyes. He growls a bit, and squeezes at my ass, causing me to jump. He’s being rather aggressive, I can’t say that I don’t like it.

“Who bottomed?” He continues his questions, staring down at me intently.

“Eren did.” He grins, or well, maybe it’s more of a smirk, and the fire in his eyes blazes brighter, and he grabs at my ass again, this time, my response is a quiet moan.

“Wonderful..” He runs his tongue across his lower lip, then kisses me lightly before he begins to assault my neck with his mouth. I moan again, arching my neck to give him a better space, and he nips at several different spots, sucking at the soft skin intently, there is no doubt in my mind that he’s leaving bright marks everywhere, but It’s not like I care.

Im tired of being entirely dominated though. I shove my hands up under his shirt, and trace at his muscles, running my finger tips over sensitive nipples, and teasing the button of his pants. Marco makes tiny groaning noises in the back of his throat, so quiet, I hardly even hear them. He pulls away from me, and makes his way to the bed, and I eagerly follow after him. He sits on the edge of his bed, and I place my self in his lap, facing towards him, my legs on either side of him. Now it’s my turn to remove his shirt, and fling it far away. I mimic his movements from earlier, kissing along his jaw, and neck, leaving him with multiple marks of my own. While I do this, his hands explore my torso, just as I did him. Only he is a tiny bit more rougher, teasing at my nipples more, pinching and playing with them, rubbing my sides, and hips, squeezing my ass a few more times. Its not till we start sloppily making out again, that grind my hips down against his. He groans, and rubs my hips, pushing them back down against his. I moan quietly again, and try to fumble with the button on his pants. With in minutes, both of us are down to our boxers, and nothing else, and are back to grinding and kissing like the horny adolescents we are. The tent in both of our boxers are far to apparent, and yet neither of us has attempted to do anything about it.

I attempt to reach down to him, but before I get there, he pulls me close to him, and bucks his hips up, grinding his dick against my ass, and I can’t help but moan, and arch a bit. He continues to do it, and I let him, rocking my hips, eager to meet his every time.

“Your fucking beautiful, Jean..” Marco whispers against my skin, as he hungrily kisses across my collar bone, continuing to thrust his hips up. I moan louder, as I can feel him getting harder. If I can remember correctly, Marco was larger then average back in high school, which means he’s got to be at least an inch or two bigger now.. My god, that’s gotta fuckn hurt, even if he does prep me properly. Him biting down unexpectedly on one of my nipples makes me gasp, and grin down against him harder. I don’t think I can wait for him much longer..  I don’t think I can even wait for him to prep me..

“Marco.. I need you.. Now..”  I mumble out, but it’s coated by more moans, and shaky breaths. He looks up at me.. and pauses..

“Jean.. I.. No.. I am sorry, but can we wait till we get that far? I know I said before that it was okay.. but I think I would like to take things a bit slower then we are now..” I am a bit shocked by his response. Honestly I thought the best reaction I would get out of him would be for him to grow hungrily, and just do it, I thought at most, he would argue about prepping me.. but I guess now.. He’s right though.. It might be good to.. to slow things down a bit..

“Oh.. Okay.. Are you sure?” I can’t help but ask again. Because, well, I am not gonna lie, I am horny, and I really want him to fuck me right now, but it won’t kill me to wait.

“Yeah, I am sure.” He chuckles a bit, and lightly kisses me. Its slow, and sweet. I sigh, and pull away, leaning against him afterwards, and lean against him, my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arms tightly around me, and kisses my forehead.

“Jean?” He whispers quietly, as if he’s talking to something extremely fragile. I look up at him, not bothering to move.

“Marco?” I simply whisper back, and I can’t help but smile when I am met with his bright, happy eyes, and his happy, freckled smile.

“I love you.” He tells me. My heart pounds against my chest, not because of the previous, high energy moment, but because of this one. This calm, peaceful moment of just laying against him, being held close to him, Knowing he returns what I feel for him. That’s what makes my heart pound.

“I love you to.” I whisper, and again, his lips press gently against my forehead.

_Yeah. I made the right decision._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was in fact the last chapter, I am sorry, and I will miss this story, but it was intended to be short, and that's the way I am keeping it. I hope you enjoyed. And even though one story is done, and another is almost complete as well, a new story is on it's way!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it so far? Dont be afraid to comment, i love feedback, thank you.


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